Is it crazy if I keep pon sending the same letter to myself after 10 months? Or another year?
Hey wake up Ahmad! Hope you didn't fail to read this letter again and again!
Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah!
Hey dude, it’s me, your
pre-clinical clerkship self a.k.a. the self that you had (hopefully will still
have) before you started your death-defying ordeal called “Clerkship”. I know this
is crazy, but hey, since when did we ever consider things “not crazy” huh?
Perhaps, right now you’re about
to begin your most challenging year in Med School. And the anxiety is killing
you already—you don’t know what to expect, you feel like you know nothing at
all! Don’t worry, that is exactly what you are supposed to feel. Just give it a
a few days and you will get used to the feeling, the pressure and slowly you
will find yourself adapting to the new environment you have.
Or maybe you are already in the
middle of your clerkship year: Now far more confident that you were the past
years. Getting your way with all those days that you feel worthless and useless
at all. Maybe you are already on your way to another 36-hour duty, another long
day huh? Or maybe you are having another endless night working on paperworks
and case reports for your presentations the next day—how many times did I tell
you not to cram!? Or maybe you are just sitting on a corner in one of the halls
of the ER trying to steal some naps, or maybe just sleeping lifelessly in your
bed at the callroom after duty. Or maybe you are on your rounds checking your
patients. Or God knows, you are being grilled by your consultants about your
morbidities right at this very moment! (Good luck bro! Buy a whole pizza for
yourself later, okay?) Wherever you are right now, I just want you to read this
once in a while. I hope you do my friend, I hope you do.
Anyway, I am here writing this
letter perhaps to remind you—yes, the me
in the future—about who you are before clerkship. Hoping that you wouldn’t
change after all those things that you have been into. Hoping as well that I
could shake some senses into you when you suddenly changed and became a monster
without you noticing it. So please remind yourself always and never forget
these things I am about to tell you.
1. Bismillah.
Begin everything with Bismillah: In
the glorified name of Allah. He is the beginning of all good things, and He
will surely make things far easier and better if you remind yourself why you
are doing all this horrible things to yourself: To please Him, to Worship Him
alone.
2. Never,
ever forget to pray. This is your source of inner peace. This is your direct
“landline” to Him. This is your only rope to keep you holding on when things
become too out of control. In good times and in bad, never forget to pray.
3. Read
the Qur’an. I now you will be too
busy to even look at your phone leave alone your books in Internal Medicine and
Pediatrics. Still, find time to read at least a verse or two of the Qur’an or a
hadith. This will remind you of your purpose in life. You already know that
right? Indeed, you are so blessed to be a Muslim, share that blessing as well.
4. Read.
Read. Read. Do not ever lose that sense of curiosity to know more. Keep that responsibility
of being knowledgeable about the conditions your patients have. What is worse
than a doctor who doesn’t know what his patient’s condition is? Of course you
cannot know everything, but at least do take some extra effort to learn on your
own. After all, this is one of your greatest responsibility to your patients as
well. You owe them at least that.
5. Do
remember where you came from and who you really are. You are Ahmad, a son of a
teacher, coming from a family with humble beginnings. You started as someone
down below. Keep your dreams high without raising your voice to others. Keep
yourself on the ground, be humble, for you are nothing but a piece of dust. And
dust you shall become one day as well.
6. Remember,
always remember your family. Your dear mother who sacrificed everything and
suffered all her life for you. Remember her smiles, her warm embrace. Remember
to keep her proud by doing your best here. Call her once in a while. Tell her
how much you love her. Tell her you miss her, talk with her about anything. I
know your time is now limited considering your schedules in between rounds and
duties. But please, try to squeeze in a few minutes for her.
Also Remember
your late father, the few remaining memories you have of him and the dream that
you will see him once again someday in Jannah, ameen. Remember you dear sisters
who aer supporting you right now. Remember you siblings and your relatives who
have high hopes for you. Remember, you are the FIRST Doctor in the clan if
ever. Do not ever fail them.
7. Treat
everyone with respect and kindness, especially your patients. You may be too
exhausted with everything and your body is yearning to get a few minute of
rest. You are on your verge of breaking down, and then your patient failed to
do you expected him or her to do. No, DO NTO BE ANGRY. Breathe in, slowly count
to five, and then explain everything again to your patient. Make him understand
how important these things are for him to be treated. Be kind, always keep
yourself on their shoes before doing anything unnecessary.
8. You
are human. You are not perfect. You can commit mistakes once in a while. Just
don’t make it much a habit to do so. If you fall down, remember that these are
just part of your training, not just in the hospitals to become a better
physician, but in life as a whole—to become a better individual. Learn from
those mistakes and commit in improving yourself to avoid making those mistakes
again.
9. In
everything that you do, just do your best—that’s how Islam taught us right? Do
your best—and put your trust to Allah alone. Remember He knows best what is
good for you.
10. Work
with your team with greater dedication and responsibility as well. Make the
most of what you have to keep the team working. Do not hesitate to volunteer
and help out. Remember that you may be different people altogether but you are
all in this together. You either work as one or you all fall as one as well.
11. Do
strive to accomplish your tasks way ahead of time. Yes, I am reminding you
again about this! Do not ever wait for the deadlines to come for you to work on
your required tasks. Remember how to prioritize things and do what is
necessary. You have done this before, surely you can do it again, right?
12. Don’t
waste your time on worthless things. Manage your time wisely. Time is such an
irreplaceable things that is borrowed to us. And whatever you do with every
second of it will be recorded forever. And they will never ever come back. This
is the only life you got, yes you only live once and you die only once as well.
Make the most of it with greater purpose.
13. Treat
yourself once in a while. Surely you deserve something that will make you happy
somehow. Go watch a movie with friends, enjoy a long trek, or go buy a cone of
ice cream. Don’t be too hard on yourself but don’t be too lax as well. Just
strike a balance with everything that you do.
14. Believe
in yourself. Yes, believe than you can always do better than yourself. Stop
those pessimistic thoughts you always have about yourself. You are here for a
reason, and because you can do better as well.
15. Remember
why you are here in the first place. Remember all the people behind you that
pushed you up here. Remember the people of Sulu whom you still owe a lot. They
need you back here in Sulu. You have to prepare yourself to be of better
service to them. Keep them in your heart, they are your inspiration; your
shield and your weapon when this war goes from bad to worst.
16. Of
course, with all these things in mind, do not forget about your health as well.
You have a responsibility as well with that body of yours to take care of it
while you are still alive. Follow the advices that you doctors give to your
patients. Live a healthy lifestyle because that is the best way for you to do
better things in life.
Yeah,
yeah, I know this is going too long already. SO I will stop here. I
will send this letter again to you after a month, then after 6 months
then after a year just to remind you of these things once in a while.
Hope you won't get to used to reading this and just ignore it. haha.
Salam Kasilasa!
Ahmad ibn Hajiri
Comments