Facing Fears.

Catching up on things.

There are times I just wanted to do nothing but delve deep in my thoughts. Deep thoughts about anything, feeling tired (or rather, bored) of writing them down on my Journal; even how significant they may have been those moments... 

And in some instances, I just do not have enough time to write, or I feel too exhausted to even look for my always-hiding pen. But I always love to keep record of what's happening to me. Lest other people who will find my journal another 50 years from now would know nothing about me.

And here I am.

= = = = =
From the Novel: "Puddang Jiyanji-an"
An excerpt from the Diary of Mukhtar Jundam
August 23, 1998

"How would it feel to DIE suddenly in a small market you do not even know where..." You were shot with a gun; and you're falling to the ground. A man who happened to know you (or thought knew you; and certainly you haven't met him before) had just fired a bullet, piercing through your heart... 

THUD! You fell to the ground... You are now bleeding to death... And as you feel your soul slowly draining and leaving your body.. It came into your mind--WHY? WHAT HAVE I DONE?

No, You didn't do anything wrong. But some of your FAMILY MEMBERS did. and now YOU are paying the price, NOT THEM. What would you feel about this?

UNFAIR. UNJUST. LOATHSOME. CRUEL. INSANE. STUPIDITY. INJUSTICE. Name it all. But believe me, everyday of my life I am getting more and more aware that sooner it will happen. TO ME.

THIS IS HOW MY FATHER DIED. THIS IS THE WORLD I AM IN.
And I AM DETERMINE TO END THIS FEUD!
Only Allah is my Protector and Guidance.
And I trust my whole life to him.

Cheer up guys! ahaha.
PM me at asmusahari@gmail.com

Comments

  1. written from the heart. your feeling of anger can be felt while reading the entry. There's a supreme being who will take responsibility of the wrongdoers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. uhm.. It wasn't me. hehe.

    ganyan talaga ako magsulat pag-pinapasukan ng masamang espiritu hehe

    ReplyDelete
  3. InshaAllah taymanghud in katan awun da hinapusan niya. Katan kita niyu muwi ra pa nagpapanjari katu ta niyu ampa hambuuk ha sifat niya in Al-muqsit. They well be judge accordingly insha Allah.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Well you weren't kidding when you said 'bloody'. *sigh* This is an unfortunate truth in our culture.

    ReplyDelete

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