Ahmad Sampang ibnu Hajiri, MD

A Personal blog by a Tausug medical student (now a doctor!) from Sulu and the stories that inspired him.
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I was supposed to post about the happy days I had this week. But it seems I have to turn right, and drive through another road. And let those unpublished essays stay under my table for a while. they can wait. This one I cannot take any longer.

I am angry.

Angry, because things are getting worst in my homeland, Sulu.
Angry, because there are more kidnappings, day by day.
Angry, there was a report of a massacre of a Muslim Family; no actions done for their justice.
Angry, because the civilians were left helpless; no where to go.
Angry, and most of us don't know or didn't even care.
Angry, our political leaders are pretending that these things did not even happened!
I am Furious! Because I can't do anything but weep in my room;
curl in my bed, crying out those unknown names of victims;
feeling the agonies that filled the hearts of the innocent civilians;

I feel furious.

Yet I must not Loose hope. Never should I give up!

And now, I only have YOU to help me pray; and Allah to accept our prayers.

"Fainna Ma'al Usri yusraa... Inna ma'al Usri Yusraa..." 

I keep reminding myself with these verses from the Holy Qur'an:

"So Verily, with every difficulty comes relief... Verily with every difficulty comes relief..." 

And I keep myself strong and firm. Feeling my seemingly-empty heart with HOPE with the Promise of Allah, that someday, after all these difficuties our people in Sulu are now suffering from, a day--or even just an hour--of relief will come. InshaAllah!

5 minutes starts.... Now!

Limang Minuto na naman. 

Hindi ko akalain na ako ay malilibang pala sa bagong addiction na ito.

Limang minuto ako ay magsusulat (o mag-i-encode) ng kung anuman ang papasok sa aking isipan. 
Limang minuto. Nakalog-out na ang aking FB pagkat ayoko rin namang ma-abala nito. Limang minuto ay napaka ikling panahon ngunit... napakaraming bagay ang pwedeng mangyari dito.

Sa loob ng limang minuto, ilang mga bagong panganak na mga sanggol ay massisilayan ng araw; isang panibagong buhay na magiging pagsubuk sa kanila. Sa loob ng imang minuto maaring mawalan ng hininga at buhay ang isang tao. Malunod. Masaksak. Mabangga ng tren (ang brutal naman). Makain ng piranha. Mahulug sa bangin na puno ng tinik at basag na bote. Aaah! tama na. basta, sa loob ng limang minuto maaring mangyari yun lahat. Di mo alam ano ang susunod. Ngunit iilan lang ba sa atin... iilang beses nga lang ba natin napagtanto na ang bawat limang minuto na dumadaloy sa atin ay napakahalaga. Limang minuto maari mong ibahin ang iyong (destiny).

Mahangin. Dumidilim na. Nauubusan na rin ako ng mga salita na pwede kong i---


(oops, sumobra ako ng 16 seconds)

Hangang sa Muli!
(hmm, i-invite ko kaya ang aking mga kaibigan na gawin din ito :-)
Ehem. Ehem. Mike test. Mike test.

5 minutes starts here==>

Limang minuto ako ay magsusulat. Nang kung anuman ang papasok sa aking isipan. Ito ay isang paraan para aking mabalik-tanaw ang mga bagay-bagay na akin nang nakaligtaan sa loob ng ilang linggong pagiging isang uod na hindi na gumagalaw.

Ewan ko ba ano ang nangyari sa akin nung makalipas na mga linggo. Tila baga ako ay isang (traveler) na nawawala; hindi alam kung san patutungo. Alam ko. Alam ko kung ano ang mga dapat kung gawin, ngunit hindi ko pa rin magawang igalaw ang aking katawan patungo sa mga hangaring ito: mga hangarin na alam kong mas makakabuti sa akin, sa aking pamayanan at sa ating kalikasan. Tila baga may ibang puwersa na humuhila sa akin. Humihila patungo sa ibang landas. Humahatak palayo sa aking mga napagtantyang mga "Prayoridad".

Limang minuto...

Limang minuto. Bibigyan ko ang aking sarili ng limang minuto sa hangaring maibalik ko ang mga dating nawala sa akin. Ako ay (hopeful). Ngunit hindi ko pa rin maintindihan, sa kaloob-looban ng aking damdamin mayroon paring kapiraso ng pagtitmpi; pagdadalawang isip. Ito nga ba ang dapat kong gawin? Tama nga ba ang aking pinagtutuunan ng pansin at oras? Ano nga ba talaga ang aking rason? Ang aking mahalagang misyon sa Buhay na to? wala? wala ba? O talagang dapat ko lang hanapin... Ngunit saan ako maghahanap? san ako patutungo?

Limang Minuto.

Limang minuto ko ay Patapos na.

sampung segundo...

ayan. tick tock. Tick, tock.


Salam kasilasa

[NOTE: Hindi po kasali sa limang minuto ang pag-EDIT ng mga wrong spellings. Ngunit akin nang napagdesisyunan na pabayaan na ang ibang grammatical errors na mababasa niyo. Sa gayong paraan ay mapapanatili ang katunayan ng totoong ibinubunyag ng aking isipan. Estoryahee!

Abangan ang susunod pa na mga kabanata ng LIMANG MINUTO] 
I stare blankly on the screen.
I can make my thoughts into order.
I can't find any words out of my mind but boggy ideas.
I cannot focus on anything now.

I am just out of my old self.
And then I ask myself, "Who am I really?"

I stare blankly up the sky to find the answers.
And to my greatest dismay, I found none by myself looking down on me.

Oh where am i going now.
[Second Title: 9/11 the 10th: How the Muslims fought against Terror.]
Published: September 11, 2011

If I will write about the whole story on 9/11, I don’t think I would be able to stop writing. There were just so many things that fly in through my mind each time I hear the infamous name: NINE-ELEVEN. On who’s really behind this grievous incident, I won’t talk about it. Let the critiques do their job. On weighing things out, on how many are the victims (the number of people who died during and after the incident), I cannot talk about it. Let the news feed your minds. But let me talk on a very short post on how this incident—even how much far it happened from where I am now—had greatly affected our ways of life. It will all boil down to a single fact: We were affected because we were (and still are) Muslims; and we did suffer the most.

After the event that shook the whole world, the waves from the ‘epicenter’ of the shock resulted to too many incidents that followed it. The whole world was suddenly divided into two worlds: Either you are WITH US or WITH THEM. A new adage was gaining fame in every strong nation: The War against Terror. Instead of making it a solution, it only aggravated the problem. The use of brute force is totally wrong and misleading. And the after-effect was still strong that it reached even the nook of small islands like Sulu, Basilan and Mindanao. And the Muslims were always the unjustly accused; THEY WERE THE REAL VICTIMS here. Enumerable abuses, violations of Human rights, biased accusations, unlawful convictions, displacement from homes because of wars, losing their simple lives—all because they believe in one True God and one True Religion; all because they were Muslims. Yet Justice for them was always out of reach: The “War on Terror” was always the excuse. And they have nowhere else to run.
(Short Post)

Last September 8, 2011, I went to the island Province of Basilan to attend a Mass Graduation Ceremony for our First batch of Literacy classes (our foundation’s beneficiaries are mostly adults, women, elderly and out-of-school-youths who were illiterates). It was indeed a double-excitement for me; an incident I have always wanted to experience. Aside from the excitement of attending the mass graduation of our first batch of Adult learners, it was also my very first time to be in Basilan.

Basilan is a small island south-west of Zamboanga Peninsula. You can ride a fast seacraft and arrive in Isabela City, Basilan 45-minutes later. It is so near that you can see the other island by simply looking out the window from inside the seacraft. Unlike Sulu, my homeland: it would take at least 8 hours of sea travel in regular sea vessels. Yet still, in my twenty years of life, I have never ever stepped my ever-so-travelling feet on that island. And I have always been wondering how people lived and how does the cities (Isabela and Lamitan) looked like. And I am about to discover that excitement!

Arriving in Isabela City at about seven in the morning, the small city welcomed my eyes with scenes that seemed more evocative than foreign. I am now looking at a city unknown to me, yet still feel familiar; like I have already been here. So nostalgic that it just felt like home. (Of course it’s not, because Isabela City is quite cleaner than Jolo; and it has Jolibee. hehe). We spend no less than five minutes in Isabela port when our group decided to go to Lamitan City (where the event will be held) via land-track. Too bad, I was not given a chance to explore the city. And so, off we go to Lamitan.

(The reasons why)

This was my "Why Anak Iluh" page before.

Why Anak Iluh?

(edited April 10, 2012)

Anak Iluh means 'orphaned child'. Two Tausug words: 'Anak' meaning 'child' or 'son/daughter' and ‘Iluh’ which is the equivalent of the English word 'orphan'. I consider myself an 'Anak iluh' (though, not a complete orphan. I still have my beloved Inah, Alhamdulillah). I lost my father when I was at the young age of four (a month before I became five and enroll in school). This paved way to various realizations in my life.

I never grew up with a father's hand leading my way; I sought and found answers to questions I have by myself; I became closer to the poor children whom I shared the same fates; I learned to see things the way a common Tausug child would; I learned to give importance to every little thing I have. And along my long journey in life, I realized and believed that everything indeed happened with a purpose; everything is created or lost for a reason. It is all planned according to the will of the One True God: Allah the Most-Merciful.

Why Write?

I believe each one of us is a writer--even if you do not know how to write. You write your own story through your actions, thoughts, and aspirations. You can choose how your story would be; and you also leave marks in the lives of others. We are all writers, one way or the other; we only use different media. Not just words but thoughts.

Writing is one of the best legacies anyone can have. There are numerous things that you can share, teach and learn through writing. Every single idea you wrote on a paper, be it a single sentence or even a book, it would be your living legacy to the world; a gift you can share to the next generations to come; an undying dream you can achieve. "So why not grab a pen and write?" I always ask myself. And so here I am.

I also consider writing as my ‘escape route’. There are always times when I have a lot of things in my mind (that I can no longer sleep because of them, bothering me so much); and the only way to ‘free’ those ‘prisoners’ in my head is to write them down. I search for a pen, any piece of paper I find, write them down, and whoosh! I can finally have a good-night sleep. Yeah, that’s what’s writing for me is.

Why Blog?

I have been long dreaming of publishing my own books. It all started way back when I first learn to read a book. I told myself: "If these people can write such number of books, why don't I do the same?" I always challenge myself in various things, and until now I am still on the challenge of publishing my very first gift to the people: my Books. But of course, the journey doesn't end there. Certain actions must be done, one step at a time. And blogging is one of my first steps in achieving that dream.

There is no success without the taste of sacrifices. Failures would always come your way to test you; if how determined you really are in doing the job. I have written, submitted and resubmitted various articles, essays and write-ups (if I am not in the lazy mode), yet most of them end up in trash cans. And to cope up and to be able to publish my once-rejected works, a blog is certainly the right answer!
At least I can still share to the world what I am writing about.

I do not blog to please anybody; and I am certainly not blogging to earn money (although I think I am now considering that option. hehehe). So when people would be discouraged or irritated on my writings, I have to apologize for that. But I won’t change my views. I will, of course, stand for it. I won’t write something that can destroy someone's life or status anyway; that's not a work of a Muslim anymore. And I am trying my best to be as good as a Muslim I can be. So PEACE out, my brothers!

What else?

Most of my topics in Anakiluh Blog would rotate around the tags 'Islam', 'Sulu', 'Youths' and 'Me'. I cannot just write about something I do not know and those I am not interested with. So as long as it has to do about Islam (Any little thing I can share); Sulu (History, People, scenes, events, etc.) and the simple things I came across with in my daily walks, you will find it here.

This blog started as a personal Blog and a 'storage box' for my ‘rejected’ essays and writings. Even some of my posts in this blog were taken from my Journals in the past years. At first, I had thought of making this blog purely in BAHASA SINUG (the language of the Tausug People) as you might have observed in my earliest posts. But then I came to realize that if I want to have more readers, I should use a language that can reach most of the people. And that would be English. I may not be that good in English but I am trying my best. I do not really care on the rules of grammar; all I am concern with is that I would be able to communicate to the people what I have in my mind.

Sometimes, when I like it, I also use Tagalog. Just when I feel like a post would be better when written in Tagalog. But my first choices would still be either Tausug or English.

Other Works:

Please check out my LINKAGE PAGE


I am faithfully dedicating this humble blog to the following:

1) The my Homeland: Lupah Sug (Sulu), and her people, whom I always find my inspirations;
2) To my dearest Inah, who had served as my guiding light;
3) To my father, his memory I will always cherish; and
4) To the Muslim Ummah, and my brothers in Islam.

Please also visit my Photo-Blog: www.warnah.blogspot.com.
Learn more about my story here: "The Bird that took Flight" by ARNL Alonto
Magsukul... (thanks)

Days after Eidul Fitr, one of my best friends, Aldam Absara, and also my beloved brother in Islam shared to me the following text message. It was so inspiring and full of meaning to me that I have decided to re-share it here. May Allah bless him for reminding me andd his other friends, and may Allah Guide us all-especially the young Ummah-to the only right path.

(The original text is in Tausug, I will try my best to translate it to English in this post. To those who do not wish to read the Tausug text, kindly scroll down to the English version. With Peace! :-)

"In tau biyah (sapantun) kappal.. Bahgu tumulak magbalik, mag-guna da isab humali-hali ha jambatan bat kalanuan marayaw, iban in gas niya kaganapan...

Biyah sapantun sin pagdungguh natuh bahgu yan ha bulan ramadhan...Bihaun Insha'Allah, kiyalanuan in nyawa natuh, kiya-Gasan in pag-iyman natuh, narenovate in pikilan natuh... Sah bang in nadawhat ta marayaw ha bulan Ramadhan luppasun natuh, naaa, biyah ra kita niyu sin sapantun amun kappal larak, kulang in Gas (pag-iyman)...

Ha dagat dakula' iya-agaran alun umuntas amun way hinarun. Naa, tantu niya maluhnud tuud kitaniyu ha ppagdunya.

Hangkansa mga taymanghud ha pag-aghama... Pagtaykud natuh na man ha jambatan, subay ta hibutang pa pikilan, dih ta tuud matantu bang maka-dungguh pa kita pa sumunod jambatan. Dih ta matantu bang kita maka-abut pa magbalik sin Bulan Ramadhan:  Amun bulan mulya maluhay pagkamdusan sin pag-iyman.

Kansa Insha'Allah, ha mga bulan ha gihtungan sin dua Ramadhan, huminang kitaniyu sin mga makaku-kusug pag-iyman biyah na sin pagsambahayang ha waktu, pagbassa Qur'an, pagdungug nasihat, pagparayaw sin addat, etc.

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just saying. -Dr. Ahmad