Another Eid away from home
I am posting this before the Eid for this year arrives (it’s either August 8 or 9), so I am writing before the actual Eid is happening and there might be some changes of thoughts that may happen within that short time, and thus whatever I might have written here may be different after Eid (in shaa Allah, I do hope so it will).
First off, it will be my second year spending ‘Eid far away from my family AND on a non-Muslim community. I have actually spend some ‘Eids away from home years ago, but those times where happy-‘ol-times as I can still feel the atmosphere of unexplainable happiness of spending the ‘Eid with your Muslim brothers (remember, I have spend more than 4 years in Marawi City :D and oh I miss that place). But this time of the year (well, it actually started last year), it’s a totally different world.
I remember last year’s Eid. I was happy during the first few hours after the Eid prayers as I was spending some time with my Muslim friends (you know who you are guys, thank you very much for spending those short times with me :). But after some time they have to return to their onw respective family… And so I was left in my room again that day, spending the rest of the Eid reading my lectures on Human Anatomy and Physiology. Really, that was one of my saddest ‘Eid ever. Will I spend this year’s ‘Eid that way too? (I actually have another Mega exam this Thursday ><)
Yes, there are a number of Muslim communities here in Manila; Yes, I do have close Muslims friends I can go visit and spend the Eid with; but I don’t know why. I just feel this something “it’s different here” syndrome. I just can’t hide what I feel right now. As the ‘Eid approaches now, I am actually feeling sad than happy: something that I should not be feeling right now.
Maybe a friend of mind was right when he said: “You are just missing your family, that’s all. Or maybe you are just failing too many quizzes, and you want to go home already. You are such a loser.” (I think it’s only one of the two choices).
Oh well, as I said earlier, I am writing this BEFORE the EID actually happens. I should not be delving on something that is not yet happening. We can never tell what will happen tomorrow: maybe I will find something that will make me happy. No, I SHOULD FIND SOMETHING TO MAKE ME HAPPY on Eid. Why did I forget that there are always so many things to be happy about Eid. Astaghfirullah. Maybe I may not be able to spend this year’s Eid with my beloved family and friends: praying with the Jamaah in my community, eating with them, visiting relatives, playing with the kids in our neighborhood with their new clothes and toys, seeing happy faces familiar and so dear to me. Maybe I am just being near-sighted and had forgotten to do what I always say in those “high-school autographs” under “What’s your motto in life”:
LOOK BEYOND WHAT YOUR EYES CAN SEE…
After all, Eidul Fitr is a time of celebrating the success of being able to spend the Ramadhan; of being blessed to still be alive and received Allah’s million-fold (actually it’s infinite) Blessings and Mercy on that month. Indeed, this Ramadhan was one of those beautiful Ramadhan I had (why did I forget that!). Attending and organizing Islamic Seminars, meeting new friends, learning and relearning those important values in Islam, remembering that being a Muslim is not just about having a name “Ahmad”; it’s about living Islam in heart, in soul, in thoughts, in words, in action, and in every little thing you do. Learning to feel how the poor suffers when they do not have enough food for a day. Learning to discipline myself and sacrifice for His sake. Learning to restrain and set aside my personal want. Learning to share what little thing you have in life. Learning to be thankful for every little thing I have.
So, I was wrong to feel this way eh? I should not be sad. I should never be sad during Eid! I should be happy now more than ever! Maybe spending the Eid with my family at home is something that I will always yearn for. But I should never remove the idea of experiencing a different Eid somehow. That maybe spending another Eid away from home is not that bad at all… I was wrong to say that I do not have a family here. I actually do. Every single Muslim I share the Ramadhan with is my Family. They are my real brothers and sisters, my parents and my friends. And so I end up correcting myself at the end of this on-the-minute write-up. I do not have any reasons to feel lonely and sad after all. :D
I just have to look beyond what my eyes can see, what my heart can feel, and what my so-limited mind can think of (as of now).
In shaa Allah, I will write something about this year’s Eid. I just have to figure out first how I will spend my Eid this year :D
Till then, Eid Mubarak to all the Muslims! :D