Ahmad Sampang ibnu Hajiri, MD

A Personal blog by a Tausug medical student (now a doctor!) from Sulu and the stories that inspired him.
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20 years without a father.



By  Ahmad Ibn Hajiri     March 03, 2015    Labels:,, 



This is the Mus-haf (Qur'an) left by my father. I found this in our old house and brought it with me.
My mom told us that he would often read Surah Yaasin and Surah Al-Mulk as we, his children start to doze off and sleep. And this was his favorite (and perhaps the only one?) mus-haf.
I could no longer remember his voice. I could no longer remember his warm touch and embrace. I can only remember his face from that old faded picture in our family album. I could only remember a few glimpse of those memories with him: carrying me on his shoulders as I try to touch the low ceiling of our house; him tousling my hair as he go to work or the Masjid to pray. Of him coming home with a half-gallon of ube-flavored ice cream--our favorite! And that one last conversation I had with him when he told me "Soon, son, you will enter school and learn a lot of new things." I was 4 back then, giddy and excited to enrol in kindergarten.
Twenty years. 20 long years since that fateful day, and yes, they all felt like a dream. Like it never happened at all! But then again, reality would always bite and I would wake up and be brought back to those 20 years without him by my side. It was a painful ride, yes. But there are times that they just feel 'normal' to me, like "Hey, it's not a big deal! I get by somehow. Look at me amd my siblings, we are doing great in school... Really, it's not that big of a deal!" Perhaps it is. Perhaps it was.
Twenty years. And now here I am, a grown man. He never saw us growing up. He never saw us graduate and come upstage to hang our medals over our tiny chests, and perhaps take a pose for keepsake. He never saw us live our dreams and become our own individuals. Look at us: A pharmacist, a nurse, a doctor, an engineer and a future accountant. Surely, he has a lot to catch up.on! He never saw how we would look like now. I wonder if he will laugh at me that I have a longer beard than he had! haha!
20 years. Who would have thought that those 5 little kids who woke up to the pain and reality of this life at such young ages, fatherless...would be here right now? Alhamdulillah (All praise is due to Allah) for He made this all happen.
Yes, we grew up without a father and still we are thankful to Allah. Alhamdulillah for He gave us more than what we asked for. He gave us, more than anything else, a wonderful gift that we could never, ever be able to repay: A wonderful, strong-willed mother who took care of us with great compassion and love. Alone. God, I could never, ever imagine the hardship she went through all those years! Ya Allah, if you will only grant me one wish, that would be to keep her healthy and strong, and give her the highest seat in your Paradise beside my father. Ameen!

Our beloved mother, a mere high school teacher, taught us how to be contented with what little things we may have. How to live each day with a purpose. How to surrender everything to Allah. To choose forgiveness over revenge. Love over hatred. To be thankful to Allah always for everything is under His control. (I know I should really stop, I don't want her to be teary-eyed again kiki emoticon sorry Ina'! You have a really hard-headed son.)
He (Allah) gave us a wonderful family who never ceased to support us, even though we came from nothing. Know that we are thankful to everyone who helped us reach these places we are in now, of who we are now and who we will be in the future in sha Allah.
"Fainna maal 'usriy yusraa" (Qur'an 94:6) Verily in every hardship comes ease, 
Allah told us in his Noble Qur'an. MashaAllah how true those words are.


For more than twebty (20) years we may not have grown up with a father.

But his examples, his dreams, his memories are things that we will live by in sha Allah. And perhaps when that time comes that we will meet him again (in Jannah in sha Allah), we can finally talk and share with him all these wonderful stories we had that he is now missing kiki emoticon
See you in Jannah Ama kiki emoticon
(Sorry for this very long and emotional post. Just can't help it. Whenever my birthday approaches, I just can't help but remember all those things.)


Your overly dramatic son,
Ahmad

About Ahmad Ibn Hajiri

Ahmad is a young Tausug Physician now serving as one of the Doctor to the Barrios (DTTB). He is a free spirit. He loves coffee. And fish.

2 comments:

  1. Innalillahi wa innailaihi rajiun.
    Thank you for sharing this post. It's really important to be grateful for what we have and your post just made me appreciate my parents more.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alhamdulillah for having wonderful parents that we have ^_^

      Delete

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