Two Months Left


It was a cold night after my sister's wedding in Sulu. I have to catch the last trip to Zamboanga even though I failed to buy my own ticket (the vessel was already fully booked the day before!) This was not new to me, racing with time, catching trips, no tickets. I am well aware and familiar on what to do: Find a vacant bed and wait till the ship departs. If it's still vacant by that time, then good for you. But if not, then repeat until you exhaust all measures where you end up with the last plan: the rooftop. 

Honestly I have done it a couple of times. Alone. But this time it's something really different. I was not alone. I have 11 other passengers with me. ELEVEN NO-TICKET PASSENGERS! Half of them were students like me, mostly cousins who have exams the next day. While the other half (5 of them) were professional photographers my sister hired for her wedding. They, too have to join in with the unexpected adventure. 

We have no choice. It was the last trip to Zamboanga. And we cannot risk delaying another day. 

We tried the "Wait and see" strategy, and to our dismay, all beds were occupied.  And yes, we were left with the last resort: The rooftop.

And so, that cold evening of my sister's wedding... 12 innocent souls spent 8 hours sleeping on the rooftop of a moving vessel under the starry night with the moon at its fullest as M/V KC Beatrice lazily tread the sea of dreams.

I did not sleep well that night worrying that some of my companions would catch a cold. This was my plan anyway. And I am responsible for them somehow. But hey, we have no other choice alright. So yeah, if I could just sing the "Let it go~~" song and end it with "~the cold never bothered me anyway~". But I didn't. And perhaps I won't.

It was the night after the Lunar eclipse. That night while the moon was at its fullest grandeur and the stars decorating the dark sky, I embarked the ship and left Sulu once again with a heavy heart.

I never wanted to leave you again. But I must. I have to.
This is for you anyway, so please... just a little more time... A little more time and I will surely return to your warm embrace once more.


Till then, farewell my beloved homeland. Wait for me.

Two months left


I still have 2 months left under my ICC year. I only have 3 rotations left: Surgery (3 weeks), Internal Medicine (3 weeks) and Traditional Medicine (2 weeks elective). Then after that is the dreaded Finals week and the Comprehensive exam. The Grand OSCE will be scheduled on the first week of June as well. Two months. Surely that is something I really have to prepare myself for.

Honestly, I don't feel that I am ready for clerkship next year. I... I fell like I am not yet competent enough. I still don't know a lot of things (that my fellow classmates are already masters of). I am afraid that I may not be able to handle the tasks and the pressures that lie ahead. I still don't feel like I can already call myself a "doctor". And next year is the most challenging of all the years in Medschool. How am I supposed to prepare myself in two months' time?

Ugh! Somebody told me that this is normal. That feeling that you are going on a war without arms and bullets. But when finally stepped on the battleground, after a few exchanges of bullets, you will realize you already have them all by your side. You just have to prepare yourself beforehand. How? Perhaps focus on learning and remembering the most important clinical and practical "pearls" in the past three years you had. Surely, those three years were not spent wasting time on useless things as Facebook and Clash of Clans? Oh wait...

And so reality sinks in.

I have two months left.

And by then I have to be the best that I can be in sha Allah.

Oh Allah, make it easy for me. Allahumma ameen.

==============
On a happier note though, two months left and it's RAMADHAN!!! Alhamdulillah! 
Ramadhan is scheduled to arrive by the 2nd week of June in sha Allah. Maybe I will be in Sulu by then to spend Ramadhan with my family in sha Allah (while trying to decide if I will do a summer elective as well). Looking forward to it ^_^

Salam Kasilasa!
Anakiluh



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